Harry Potter and the Half-Baked Flick

SPOILERS GALORE !!! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK !!!

Right off the bat, let me admit that Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince is a cut above the previous five movies. But only because the others are so lame.

The movie starts off at a brisk walk with storm clouds gathering above London and Death Eaters streaking out like sooty comets to wreak havoc in the city. By half-time it looks like it might even run. Then it shoots itself firmly in both feet to collapse in an anticlimactic heap. In what follows I will assume, that you like myself, have read and loved the book (and preferably, all the books.) So, I’ll abandon the usual refrains of “Harry Potter and friends are back in a deeper, darker, scarier, more adult, more mature, ...... yakkety yak yak”.

In a bizarre inversion of quality, the film shines precisely where the book fails and vice versa. Anybody who has read the series (or is it just the old and cynical ones like me ?) tends to agree that Rowling’s depictions of teenage romance and angst are by far the most annoying aspects of Book 4 onwards, and a general lowering of overall standards. However, the romance bits of the movie are genuinely entertaining and often very amusing. Jessica Cave delivers a hilariously over-the-top performance as the lovestruck Lavender Brown. Rupert Grint’s idiotic grin as Ron under the effects of love potion has to be seen to be believed. Also very amusing are Harry and Ginny’s awkward attempts at romance, continually interrupted by the bumbling Ron.

Unfortunately that’s where the good news ends. Now for the bad.

The central thread of the Half-Blood Prince book is a series of revelations about Voldemort’s life, seen in Dumbledore’s pensieve. Dumbledore is demystifying Voldemort – showing Harry that the Dark Lord is not an invincible superbeing as he wants all to believe. He is just a man, who was once a child, and then a teenager. In a fascinating series of snippets, we read about his ancestors, obsessed with heritage and wizard pride. We see him as a boy already inclined towards cruelty and domination, a teenager ever adept at flattering teachers to get the information he needs. We find out about his obsession with objects of antiquity and value. Then the final revelation and the key to bringing down the Dark Lord – the multiple Horcruxes, each created by murder, which bind him to the world.

All this is replaced by two hasty scenes totalling not much more than 5 minutes!!
Then the chilling scene of locating the Horcrux locket – the huge underground lake, the deadly potion in the basin, Dumbledore screaming in terror and agony, then lying in a faint begging for water... Once again,very clumsily done. To begin with the sets look so obviously fake,that disbelief is hard to suspend. The lake looks tiny. Dumbledore flails about a bit all right, but in half a minute, looks quite fine. When he asks Harry for water, it seems he’s just being lazy.

And now the finale.

I remember how it felt when reading the book. The Dark Mark hovers above Hogwarts. Harry suddenly finds himself petrified beneath his invisibility cloak. He watches, helpless, as a visibly weakening Dumbledore faces Malfoy, who has come to kill him. But the old wizard is completely unfazed. He is sure Draco’s heart is not in it. In fact, yes, Malfoy is losing his nerve and lowering his wand. All’s well after all...

Then four Death Eaters burst in. Tension once again. Dumbledore remains composed but now the outcome is far from certain. Then Snape enters. At this point I know all will be fine. Dumbledore trusts Snape. Snape will surprise the Death Eaters and rescue him, he’s the ace in the old man’s sleeve.... Snape kills Dumbledore !!! What the ****** ???!!! While this is yet to sink in, we find Hogwarts in chaos. Death Eaters are battling the students and the Order of the Phoenix. Spells fly everywhere and pandemonium reigns, while the Death Eaters make their exit. And as a last, shocking revelation, Snape is the Half Blood Prince, whose potions book has helped Harry all year round !

That’s the book. Now for the film.

They come back to Hogwarts all right. Then Dumbledore tells Harry to stay out of sight. No petrifying spell, no cloak. Enter Malfoy, enter Death Eaters, enter Snape. No build up, no tension, nothing. Snape does the Avada Kedavra almost as an afterthought. And all the while Harry just watches with the moronic, vacant expression that seems to be Daniel Radcliffe’s trademark. Then the Death Eaters sort of saunter out with Harry obligingly following behind, with no attempt to attack them, raise the alarm, or create any resistance. And I’m thinking, “Is everyone finding this as stupid as I am?”

Bellatrix Black trashes the great hall and sets fire to a couple of buildings. Nobody wakes up, nobody notices. Is everybody in Hogwarts on drugs or what? Only when the Death Eaters are well out of the building, does Harry challenge them and get his butt thoroughly kicked. Serves him right for being such a retard!

Ok, that’s it. The film ends shortly in a total anticlimax. I don’t know if this is a deliberate ploy in order to get a PG rating, but every previous Harry Potter movie shows the same tendency to downplay and rush through the darker, chilling parts that make Rowling’s books such a pleasure to read. It is unfortunate that the Half-Blood Prince movie makes the same, tired mistake and leaves you with the same insipid taste in your mouth.